By
                          BootBlock/TerraForm


While  at  D!ck's house (and very nice it is too), I played on this game
on  his  PeeCee  (a  P133  I think, with a DirectX jobby, and a built-in
water  cooling  system)  while he was inserting processed particles into
his gob.

Hokay,  I'd  first of all better say that I didn't play this no way near
long enough for one of my sexy full-length reviews, so...  um...  it's a
very short term impression thing.  Okay?  Okay.

The intro shows you a car...  falling to bits.  Then a bloke's face, and
a  red  bloke's  facing while loading.  I was blabbing on to D!ck that I
loaded  a  game called Carmageddon (ooh look, I can't spell it) and what
was I supposed to do.  So I didn't get a good perv at the loading stuff.

Well, once the loading has finished, you need to select a car.  I didn't
get  much  say in this, and guess what/who D!ck picked for me?  A bloody
GIRL!!   Arrgh!   How  was  I  supposed  to  fondle  some arse with this
character??

You  then  need  to  select a starting position on the grid (but you are
limited  to  how far forward in the grid you can go, but you are free to
put  yourself  at the back, if you want), and after some disscusion with
D!ckster, I opted for the back.

The  whole  point of the game is to basically, win.  Either by coming in
first  place,  or  by you being the only survivor (I won by the latter).
There  is a time-limit imposed, but this can be expanded by running over
people/animals.  I managed to clock up 14 minutes odd.

You  are  free to roam a 3D world and can basically do what you want.  I
prefer bombing around killing people.  It's a laff, init?

There is summat I didn't like.  And that was the graphics.  Okay, so the
gxf  were  pretty  good, but the resolution they were in was pretty bad.
C'mon, D!ck had a 230Mhz machine with a fast video card, 40Mb of RAM and
DirectX  (I assume the game doesn't support it) and it would only run at
a  playable  speed  in  a very low and pixelated screen mode.  Something
strange  must  have  been  going  on, or shitty programming (but SCI did
Destruction Derby 2 on the PSX, and THAT looks great!).
(Duh, P133 means 133Mhz, actually! And no, it does't support DirectX)

Sometimes  I couldn't make out the people in the background, so I missed
often them (but I did some ace twatting-into-people action!).  But I did
get used to it, so it became easier.

The  sounds  are  very  good  (but a bit loud, which was D!ck's FAULT!).
BUT,  when  I  went over 150Mph (or KpH, whatever format it was in), the
bitch (my driver) kept screaming her head off, which got very annoying.

On  the 2nd track with the cows, if you fall off the bridge and into the
field,  beware, as all you can hear is "MOO!".  When you finish playing,
you can still hear the moo's after you've taken the headphones off!

There  was  something  that  let  it  down  a bit, and that's the actual
crashes.  Or more like, the un-actual crashes.  Say for example an enemy
car was on it's side against a wall (whee!) and you steam towards it and
then.....   bump.   You don't really feel like you've just hit the other
car  at  100-odd  Mph,  more  like  you've just ploughed into some jelly
(preferably  raspberry  flavour).   Which detracts from the satisfaction
somewhat.

I  only  got to fully try out the first track and most of the second and
that's  it.   Why?   Well, because it crash (I pressed Insert to try and
recover, then boom!).

Okay, here are some VERY short-term scores ......

            Presentation: 93%   -   Pretty rendered intro.
            Graphics    : 85%   -   Why so BLOCKY?
            Sound       : 88%   -   Can get very annoying.
            Playability : 90%   -   Steering is a bugger.
            Lastability : ??%   -   Can't really say, I ain't
                                    played it enough!

            OVERALL     : 93%   -   Very good game. That's basically
                                    all I can say, because as I said,
                                    I haven't played it enough for a
                                    full "proper" review. Ah well.

end